I must remind myself of this daily...

“That’s why I work and struggle so hard, depending on CHRIST’S MIGHTY POWER that works within me.” Colossians 1:29 (NLT)

I read this verse today and then I had to stop and think for a minute. There is a lot in this one verse that I could talk about and the things that caught my attention in this verse. But first here is a little update on my life…

It has been two weeks now since I returned to the US from Brasil and I've had to adjust back to the life I have here. Sometimes I feel as if I have two lives, one in Brasil and one here in US. But anyway, for now I am living life in US and finishing school. And I have to say that these past two weeks have been a little crazy and overwhelming for me. I started training for my internship the day after I got home from Brasil. So I didn’t really have much time to get rested up, but that was my choice since I wanted to stay in Brasil for the longest amount of time that I could. And I don’t regret the choice at all but by the end of the first week, I could tell my body was a little tired. But I got to go home that weekend and visit with the family, celebrate my birthday and just rest. Which was a good reward after a long, solid week of training. Then this past week I have actually been on the job of my internship and shadowing my social worker that I will be working under, and its been a good experience so far. The only thing that I am concerned with are the hours. I am not a morning person but every day I have to wake up at 6 and then work from 8 to 5. This is a big change for me and everyday that I get home I feel that the day is over and yet I have so much to do before I can sleep. With school papers that I am going to have to write soon for my class and a important exit exam, that I need to study for so I can pass and get my degree, well I guess you can say that I feel a little pressured.  I come home a little frustrated and stressed, which now brings me to the verse that I read today.

I have realized that throughout these past two weeks, I have been depending on Victoria’s strength. I have been thinking I can do this all by myself. But every day, my strength failed me and I became so weak. So when I read this verse, I realized that I am depending on the wrong person here. I need to be depending on God’s strength. His power is MIGHTY and His strength never fails. If I lean on Him and depend on His mighty power, then I am going to be able to watch him work in and through me.  In other words, I was acting like I understood the first part of this verse, but I was ignoring the second part. I was looking at this work and how hard it was and the struggle to get through the day, but I was not looking beyond that. And so when I read this verse today, it all clicked in my head and it was like God was saying: “Can’t you see you are doing it all wrong. All you have to do is depend on me.”

So this is what I am going to try my very best to do this week. Depend on GOD and stop depending on myself. I must choose to live in HIS MIGHTY POWER and not my own.  I know it is not going to be an easy process, I may fail and try to take over some days but this is something I need to learn. And maybe you are reading this and you feel the same way at times. Maybe you need this challenge today, just as much as I did.  Choose Christ. Depend on Him. Watch Him work within you.